10 FAVORITES (67): Super Bowl Ad Awards 2013

It's Awards Month!  Each post this month is going to be Awards-related.  Whether it has to do with the upcoming Grammys, BAFTAs or Oscars, or it's a made-up Award relating to something in the popular culture; that's what this month is all about.  Today, I am giving out the Awards for the Best (and Worst!) commercials that were aired during this year's Super Bowl on Sunday.  Every year it seems like the competition for Best Super Bowl Ad gets fiercer and fiercer. It doesn't help that the networks keep raising the price of the ad time (this year CBS charged over $8 million for one ad spot!).  So let's get on with:

THE 2013 SUPER BOWL AD AWARDS

Let's get the Negatives out of the way:

WORST SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Bar Rafaelli and Generic Nerd Kiss - GoDaddy.com

I never expect anything good out of a GoDaddy.com ad, but this was just awful.  What makes this universally panned commercial so terrible is not the fact that a shlubby nerd is getting a make-out session with the gorgeous model Bar Rafaelli, but the disgusting sound effect of said make-out.  Whether it was an effect added afterwards or live recording, it was just unpleasant.

ODDEST SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Come On, Get Hoppy, 'Mon - Volkswagen

The elements of this commercial ultimately seemed like something that came out of the fake writers' room on 30 Rock.  A completely white-bread guy speaks with a Rastafarian accent telling all in his office to "Get Hoppy, 'Mon" all while the strains of an island version of The Partridge Family theme song play in the background.  And yet it's not an ad for Red Stripe Beer or a Caribbean Cruise!  It's an ad for the German-made Volkswagen!  Everyone at my Super Bowl party was just befuddled.  Even the people in the ad are befuddled!

MOST POLARIZING SUPER BOWL AD 2013

And God Made the Farmer - Dodge RAM

Every year there is always one ad that gets completely opposite reactions from the public.  This year, the Dodge RAM ad has that distinction.  Some people really loved it and others really hated it.  I tend to fall more in the latter category (though "hated" may be a bit strong!).  What people loved was the message the first minute and half of this commercial had (that whole "God saw that the land needed tending and so the Farmer was created" thing!).  While that message is fine on its own, inspirational and even patriotic, the pay-off of the ad was just disappointing.  Even if I knew going into the ad that it was nothing more than a car commercial, I still would have wanted more from the people at Dodge than just a prompt to "Join the Movement at Dodge.com" (Whatever the hell that means!).  It would have been much better if the ad had ended with their new Dodge RAM and a promise from the company to donate a percentage of the proceeds to a Farmers' Aid Organization (like Farm Aid!).  But no, they had to be ambiguous and just show off their new truck and use the equivalent of emotional blackmail to make consumers love the ad (seriously, go into a chat room and say something negative about this ad and it will not go over well!).

Now on with the good ones:

BEST SUPER BOWL MOVIE TRAILER 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness (May 17, Paramount Pictures)

Of all the movie trailers that were aired on Sunday, this one teasing the awaited sequel to J.J. Abrams' first Star Trek reboot made geeks everywhere squee with delight!  And I am especially looking forward to what seems like a tour-de-force performance from Sherlock star Benedict Cumberbatch.

BEST SUPER BOWL TIE-IN 2013

Joe Montana Miracle Stain - Tide

The ad is fairly self-explanatory and I don't want to spoil the ending for those who missed it!  Suffice it to say it was a great way to honor one of the most famous San Francisco 49ers and yet throw in a zinger.

BEST USE OF MUSIC IN A SUPER BOWL AD 2013

I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) - M&Ms

Hilarious for the annoying Red M&M to sing MeatLoaf's impassioned '90s power-ballad to Glee star Naya Rivera...and then subject us to all the things the little guy won't do for love.

BEST CELEBRITY PERFORMANCE IN A SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Amy Poehler - Best Buy

There were celebrities abound in this year's Super Bowl ads (Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen, Stevie Wonder, Zoe Saldana, Kaley Cuoco, Willem Dafoe and many more!).  But the celebrity that shined the most was Parks and Recreation star Amy Poehler in this hilarious Best Buy ad with all her questions for this young (and oft-confused!) clerk.  She proves why she is one of the most hilarious women on Television.

FUNNIEST SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Goat 4 Sale - Doritos

Doritos always tend to bring the funny when it comes to their Super Bowl ads (and this year they had two, see the Honorable Mentions below!).  This one that aired during the first quarter was just hilarious and made everyone at my Super Bowl party ROTFL! (Yeah I know, I hate Text-speak too...but here it's appropriate!)

CLEVEREST SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Library Whisper Fight - Oreos

While Doritos get my praise for being hilarious, its Oreos that get my kudos for being clever.  Here, Oreos called upon a joke from a classic Super Bowl ad and gave it a great twist.  By setting it in a Library, the whispering caught the audience's attention especially when juxtaposed against the chaos created by the Cookies vs. Cream fight.

AND..

BEST OVERALL SUPER BOWL AD 2013

Clydesdale and Trainer - Budweiser

It seems like anytime the people over at Anheuser-Busch do one of their popular Clydesdale ads, the quality goes up by like 11!  This one (which seems like a cute parody of the central relationship in Steven Spielberg's War Horse) was poignant, clever, touching and even a little humorous.  It was smart to use Stevie Nicks' classic "Landslide" as the background music (that's the touching part!).  It makes me want to run out and pet a Clydesdale.  This ad was a surefire winner!

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Viva Young -Taco Bell; Fashionista Daddy - Doritos; Where Babies Come From - KIA

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS (so dishonorable, they don't get links!)

Coca-Cola - The Chase (insipid and full of doofy stereotypes...but in the bad way!)

Subway - Mispronouncing FebruANY (who the hell cares if certain athletes can't pronounce a MADE-UP WORD!!!)

Union Bank - Maya Angelou (similar problem to the Dodge RAM ad, yet a little more offensive to use someone so profound - and talking about profound things! - to promote a bank!)

10 FAVORITES (33) - Bad Small and Silver Screen Moms

Last week, I gave you all a list of the best Mothers from both TV and Film.  This week, I've decided to give you the opposite.  If Bambi's Mother and Claire Huxtable qualify as the best Moms in the fictional mediums, then which mothers qualify as the worst?  There are plenty to choose from, so let's get started.  Like last week, we'll begin with:

THE 10 WORST TV MOMS

TV MOM #10

Lwaxana Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation
She's self-absorbed, man-hungry, extravagant and extremely intrusive...oh, and she's an alien.  Lwaxana Troi (played with great flair by the late Majel Barrett-Roddenberry) was every one of those adjectives and more as Counselor Deanna Troi's Beta-Zed mother.  She cared more about finding a husband and reading people's thoughts than her own "little one."  Yet, in her own "warped" way, she had great affection for Deanna.

TV MOM #9

Estelle Costanza from Seinfeld
It's often thought that the louder the voice, the more of a pain the mother is.  Well, Estelle Costanza (played to annoying perfection by Estelle Harris) certainly fits that bill.  She made George's life a living hell and she was unapologetic about it.  She was just being herself, which can be quite admirable, only some times.

TV MOM #8

Lois Griffin from Family Guy
Compared to her husband, Lois Griffin is the perfect parent.  That being said though, she still is extremely selfish and has a sense of humor that is way out of control (perfect for the show that she's on, but still...WOW!).  Plus, she is the worst role model for her teenage daughter Meg, whom she seems to just despise (like everyone else on the show).

TV MOM #7

Benny Lopez from George Lopez
Loosely based on his grandmother (as talked about in his stand-up), George Lopez created the character of Benny Lopez, George's abusive and lazy mother (played by Belita Moreno).  Every hateful word that spread from her mouth was just awful, but half of the time it was excused because Benny was just as emotionally damaged as she tried to make other people.

TV MOM #6

Endora from Bewitched
What's worse than a mother who is absolutely un-supportive of your life choices? Try dealing with her when she has magical powers and uses them to make your life (and the life of your spouse) miserable. You know life won't be easy when your mother is constantly (and often purposefully) getting your husband's name wrong.

TV MOM #5

Liane Cartman from South Park
Eric Cartman may be one of the most vicious and evil characters ever created for a TV show, but you might forgive some faults when you look at his mother.  Liane Cartman is probably the biggest tramp in the entire fictional universe.  She'll do it with anyone (and I mean ANYONE!).  For a little while, through some strange and twisted plot device, it was thought that Liane was both Eric's Mother AND Eric's Father (don't ask!).

TV MOM #4

Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond
She was a master at giving an insult with a smile, especially to her daughter-in-law.  Marie (the delightful Emmy-winner Doris Roberts) held firmly on to her sons (namely Raymond) and made it her business to deal with everything in her family.  She defended her actions by claiming that's what a Mother does, but she constantly undermined her son's respective marriages all while doing it in the name of Motherhood.  Can you say "Manipulative?"

TV MOM #3

Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development
Some women just shouldn't have children and Lucille Bluth (brilliantly played by Jessica Walter) would be the first one to say that...about other people.  She loved to drink and gossip and drink and spend money and (did I mention?) drink.  The messes she made of her four children is a testament to the kind of Mother she was.

TV MOM #2

Peg Bundy from Married...With Children
The original dysfunctional mother and the perfect stereotype for the bored housewife.  Peg Bundy (the amazing Katey Sagal) loved her bon-bons more than she loved Kelly or Bud (her children).  Maybe she felt neglected by her husband Al (the equally amazing Ed O'Neill) or maybe she just didn't care about anything.  Whatever the reason, Peg nearly tops the list of the Worst Mothers on TV.

AND...

TV MOM #1

Evelyn Harper from Two and a Half Men
Now that the news has come that the show will return next season (with Ashton Kutcher replacing Charlie Sheen), audiences who love this show (for some reason!) will get to see more of Holland Taylor's Emmy nominated performance as the most selfish Mother one will ever see on TV.  Evelyn always only thinks of herself and how much money she can make off of anyone (through her realty business).  It's no wonder her two sons turned out the way they did...tiger-blood and all!

AND NOW...

THE 10 WORST MOMS ON FILM

FILM MOM #10

Mama Fratelli from The Goonies
Played by the late Anne Ramsey, Mama Fratelli was a piece of work. Not only is she a vicious criminal (like Ma Barker, but meaner), but she chains up her deformed son, Sloth, in a basement. Thank God for Chunk! (I never thought I'd say that statement!)

FILM MOM #9

Queen Gertrude from Hamlet
William Shakespeare knew how much a Mother's betrayal could affect the psyche of a young man and he made it the central conflict of his most famous play. Whether Gertrude is played by a great actress (like Glenn Close or Julie Christie) or is played by an unknown in a regional (or high school) production, her relationship with Hamlet and how she reacts to her son's treatment of her new marriage (to her late husband's brother and murderer!) is key to the personality of this ambitious and terrified Queen.

FILM MOM #8

Kate McCallister from Home Alone
Every time I watch Home Alone (or it's New York sequel), I am constantly frustrated and angry at the mother and how easily Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) forgives her for LEAVING HIM HOME ALONE! I mean, I know kids love their mothers, but this woman shows how much Kevin means to her by punishing him the night before they leave and then leaving (albeit accidentally) him home by himself. Though she is perfectly played by Catherine O'Hara, I just think some things are unforgivable (at least immediately).

FILM MOM #7

Mary from Precious - Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire
Comedienne Mo'Nique transformed herself and completely shocked audiences with her Oscar-winning performance as Mary, Precious' abusive and hateful mother. But it is in her last scene in the film where audiences realize how damaged Mary is herself and how the cycle of dysfunction continues.

FILM MOM #6

The Alien Queen from Aliens
The Queen has one purpose in her whole existence and that is to destroy all human life and infest the world with her alien progeny. The only thing standing in her way: the heroic and feisty Ripley (the indomitable Sigourney Weaver), who is as nurturing as the Queen is destructive.

FILM MOM #5

Disney's Wicked Stepmothers from Snow White and Cinderella
As part of Disney's Princess franchise, they should have a small sect including the two Wickedest Stepmothers in fairy tale history. The Wicked Queen (from Snow White) and Lady Tremaine (from Cinderella) are both filled with villainy and jealousy when they look at their respective stepdaughters. So they proceed to make the pretty Princesses life as miserable as possible. Not the best kind of Mother-figure in a girl's life, is it?

   

FILM MOM #4

Beth from Ordinary People
One of the worst kind of Mothers is the kind of Mother who just gives up. Beth (as played by a stoic and reserved Mary Tyler Moore) gives up on everything especially her surviving son Conrad (Oscar-winner Timothy Hutton). Just watch her face as her son tries to hug her towards the end of the film.

FILM MOM #3

Mrs. Robinson from The Graduate
Talk about a selfish rich bitch! Anne Bancroft will forever be remembered as the ultimate cougar Mrs. Robinson, who seduces young Ben Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) and proceeds to let him date her daughter (the innocent Katharine Ross). She doesn't care about anything but her own desires.

FILM MOM #2

Joan Crawford from Mommie Dearest
Everyone remembers Faye Dunaway screaming "No Wire Hangers! EVER!" and proceeding to spank the little girl with the hanger.  Dunaway's over-the-top work as Crawford has become so iconic that, even though Joan Crawford was a real person, she has become a character all the same.

AND...

FILM MOM #1

Mrs. Iselin from The Manchurian Candidate
Brilliantly played by Angela Lansbury in the 1962 socio-political thriller, Mrs. Iselin is cold, over-bearing and absolutely manipulative. She even allows her son to become a Communist assassin and is willing to let him murder a political candidate to get ahead in Washington.  Just watch the chilling scene below.

There you have it, the Worst Mothers on TV and Film. Next week, we will explore the best moments and the best guest stars from one of my favorite shows of all-time: THE MUPPET SHOW!!!!!!